We’ve owned our house for a few weeks now, and the reality of it is starting to sink in. Our mothers have seen and approved it, so it’s official.
Today we measured most of the house for things like rugs, curtains, and beds. The whole house has wooden floorboards and no fitted carpets, so we’re going to buy a lot of rugs. They are more expensive than I thought! Also it turns out that Dan and I have almost the same taste in rugs, so that’s quite pleasing.
Today was the first time that the image of the house with furniture inside it, really being lived in, came together for me. I pictured us making dinner, having a glass of wine, working, watching TV… I started to see the real future come together in my head. Now that we are choosing furniture it seems a lot more concrete as it were. I have never bought my own furniture before, and have only chosen my own things once, and this is the house that we own, that we will live in as a married couple, that our children will live in. And the dog. Looking at sofas online the other day, the impact of this really hit me. This isn’t just a place I live, it’s a home. It’s our home. It is a place that is entirely our own, that we have total control over. That has never happened before. There has always been a parent or a landlord who has the ultimate control and ownership – but now it’s us. It’s amazing and overwhelming.
I began to think about what kind of home I want to have. What kind of furniture. I want a safe, cosy place, somewhere I want to be, somewhere that makes me happy. Feeling ‘at home’ is one of the most important things in the world to me, and since moving out of my two childhood homes I have never quite felt this in the same way. The idea that I might feel this again, in a home that I own with Dan, the most important person in the world to me, is so wonderful that I can’t quite describe it. My family has been broken and put back together in a new way; and now Dan and I will make a new family for ourselves. We are the start of something new. And our new home is where that happens.